I’ll never forget the first door I knocked on as a college student selling books door-to-door for the Southwestern Company. I’d just completed sales school in Nashville, Tennessee, and now it was time to put everything I’d learned into practice.

There I stood, in the street, staring at that first house. I was scared to death. I stood there for what seemed like forever before I finally convinced myself to walk up and knock.

I’d love to tell you that a friendly lady opened the door, invited me inside, and became my first customer. Didn’t happen! She opened the door, and just as I started to say hello, she reached for that little eye-hook lock, secured it, and shut the door.

That was it. My very first sales call! I walked away thinking, “What have I gotten myself into?”

I didn’t make my first sale until the middle of that afternoon. But looking back, the most important thing I accomplished that morning wasn’t making a sale. It was finding the courage to knock on the next door.

When Success Turns Into Disappointment

Coming off that first summer, I was excited about going back. I’d recruited other college students to join me, and apparently, I’d done a pretty good job of it! I’d put together one of the larger teams in the country.

Things didn’t go quite the way I’d envisioned. Within approximately six weeks, every single person I’d recruited had left the field and gone home. I felt like I’d let them down.

I stayed for most of the summer before eventually going home early myself. When everything was settled, I was $500 in debt, and my dad helped me secure a bank loan to cover it. I felt like a failure.

There’s an irony in that experience that I appreciate today. I would eventually build a career in executive recruiting, developing sales organizations, and helping leaders build successful teams. Yet my first experience recruiting a team had ended in disappointment. I’d succeeded as a recruiter, but I felt like I’d fallen flat on my face as a leader.

Two Questions. Two Very Different Directions.

When something doesn’t go as planned, there’s a question we naturally ask: “What now?” It’s often accompanied by disappointment, frustration, uncertainty, or fear. Those are understandable reactions, and sometimes we need time to process what happened.

But there’s another question I’ve learned to ask: “So now what?”

Just one additional word, yet it changes the direction of our thinking. “What now?” focuses on the uncertainty we’re facing. “So now what?” challenges us to consider what we’ll do next. It doesn’t dismiss the disappointment or pretend everything is fine. It moves us toward a choice.

We can’t always control what happens to us. We can’t erase the stumbles and mistakes that felt like failure. But we can influence what happens next.

Getting Back Up With Learning

A couple of years ago, I interviewed Russell Harvey, The Resilience Coach, on my podcast, Strategies for Tomorrow’s Leaders. He shared a perspective that has stayed with me: resilience isn’t simply bouncing back. It’s springing forward with learning.

That’s an important distinction. Getting back up after a setback matters, but getting back up without learning anything may simply put us on a path to repeat the same mistakes.

Those Southwestern summers became foundational to my career. They influenced how I selected people for my teams, how I prepared them through role-playing, and how I helped them navigate rejection. I learned that enthusiasm doesn’t necessarily prepare someone for adversity, and that recruiting people to an opportunity is different from leading them through its challenges.

The experience didn’t brand me. It shaped me.

What Door Are You Standing In Front Of?

Maybe you’ve lost an important client. A promising employee has resigned. Or something you believed would succeed has fallen apart. You may be asking, “What now?”

That’s understandable. But when you’re ready, ask a different question: “So now what?” What happened? What can I learn? What needs to change? What’s the next step I can take?

Sometimes that step means trying again. Sometimes it means asking for help or choosing a different direction. Either way, forward motion begins with a decision.

I still remember standing in that street, afraid to approach my very first door. I had no idea where those next steps would lead. You may not know where the next door will lead either. But you’ll never find out standing at the curb.

Move the Ball.